The Empty Grave

Tonight wasn’t the best night in the world.

I got pretty much all my work done tonight which is probably one of my only highlights. the other one comes a bit later i guess. 

so usually on saturdays I take a nap, and then head over to East houses - where all the parties are- but I don’t go to them because I head over to my friends room and they are usually playing football games on the xbox or card games. so I just enjoy chilling with them. At around 11 I like to go out and dance until whenever and its usually pretty relaxing and a nice way for me to get all the stress off my chest. When I go dancing its more like the stupid grinding stuff but I like to dance in other/better ways yknow like just by myself and I usually make a fool out of myself but I have a good time and thats what really matters right. But tonight I was a little different then normal, it was a bit wilder.

I started to go over to my friends room, and most of them drink, john ward usually doesn’t and if he does he just gets slightly buzzed because he hates to drink any more. So I was in the room by 815pm and by golly they were all drunk. 

it wasn’t even 9 yet and they were all wasted. the floor was extremely sticky but the Pirates were playing so I stayed and watched that. they continued to make a mess around me. I started to get a head ache- probably just from the smell of alcohol. Felus ended up breaking a few things, which was fun. I really don’t want to see who has to clean that mess up. While he was breaking things ward was in his room puking. fun night for all as seen. I just wasn’t into it and no one started dancing until 11 so i just went back to my room and hung out by myself. 

I enjoyed just being a lone, just played xbox and tumblrd. I went back over around 1115. just leaving the building some of the people in the hall were starting to get a little crazy but nothing too bad.

So I went over, and I don’t like to dance with everyone, like I don’t like dancing with real good friends because its like dancing with my sister or something - to me at least probably not them its just a thing about me- and usually I will dance with some girl I kinda know or may possibly like or something like that. I don’t really like dancing with girls who are drunk but I can’t hold a beat so usually that works out better for me so I don’t have to keep it as well - kinda humorous but its all good- 

so yea like i said this night was different, from the moment I got there I just stood by the wall for the next 2 hours or so just hanging say hi to people. now during this time this one girl who I danced with last week- who was drunk and attempted to kiss me near the end- apologized to me about the week before, and she explained about why she did what she did and I understood and stuff and accepted the apology, I didn’t she believed me she kept looking my way, I think she thinks i think really badly of her, which I don’t she seems like a very nice and caring person when she isn’t drunk and even when she was she is still nice and such. so that was a nice little thing for the night. 

so at this point I was a little irritated at my friends over in the other room for getting so wasted. and I just really wasn’t in a mood to dance but I guess I do enjoy just being there seeing people have a good time, even if it is under the influence.

So laterr on one girl i kinda know came in and she is a part of the Christian Ministry Board with me, but she is a sr and only ever showed up to one meeting this year. and so i discovered quite (its like 2am and i just spelled quite like white- yea im tired)yea so i discovered quite early on that she was drinking this evening and she wanted to dance with me. and idk i just didn’t feel right yknow its like dancing with the pastors daughters type of thing i guess, like we are in the Christian club together and idk it just seems strange, she asked me to dance and I politely - well i think it was politely- declined. and about 10 min later she asked me again and I don’t like disappointing people so i was like sure why not. and like 

she did attempt to kiss me, and it was just so awkward and i she just kept on dancing with me and i felt pretty uncomfortable. I still danced like it was the first time all night i danced so i still danced some but it was jsut sooo strange from that point on. I just wish people did drink and stuff like it really changes people.

It’s like when you become new, when you give your life to the Lord and you just are truly amazed by His grace, you become a different person, the way you live changes and everything and God gives you talents to use to praise him. This is like alcohol, when you drink it it gives you powers to make a complete fool out of yourself. 

oh and if you didn’t know I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, and I am completely celibate - until marriage yknow.

So I then told her I had to get to bed and what now, I would have liked to stay but its like i wasn’t going to be able to stay because i she wanted to dance with me the rest of the night, and these rooms are small so its not like i can avoid her. I was ready to go though. So I left

now on my walk back, boy was that fun

I ran into Phil and Sydney…they have been dating for say two weeks and lets just say aren’t the ideal Christian couple. I didn’t knwo this at the time but I guess they broke up, which explains why sydney was crying and consoling with elise. phil was walking in front of them and I went to talk to him but he wasn’t talking. this just made me think, like they were so tight within two weeks, I don’t know how much of that relationship was actually emotional and not physical. I just wasn’t sure I know they spend a lot of alone time together it seems but im just not sure on that one but regardless I just know that God tells us in the Bible how to have the perfect relationship. if you do those things he says - like no premarital sex and all that jazz- i just feel that if we followed the Word of God things would be better.

soo ahhh

I just pray that people can see the light of the Lord like us christian do. I understand we are all different and such but. idk. I just wish this world was a better place sometimes. its really hard to find someone these days that are really true christians and aren’t like ned flanders but are actually cool and down to earth yknow. 

I guess Im just trying to vent a bit here. I wish people could be happier and feel the Love of God! its not that hard once you experience Gods grace life is so amazing. but yea im kinda tired so im heading to bed, night world

God Bless